Quick update

so much goes on so quickly I can never keep up, it's not that we are doing tons of spectacular things, rather our days are full of playing at the park, exploring new places, naps, grocery shopping, cooking, sewing, drawing, coloring, playing with toys, seeing friends at playgroup, watching movies, exercising, traveling to see family, and so forth that I can't write it all down. I feel so blessed to have a rich abundance of family, healthy children, a faithful and good husband, and a healthy body that I sometimes am afraid for the murky waters that always seem to creep up on you when life is at it's best.

We are currently in the process of adopting a foster child. We have completed the paperwork part (which takes 4 months) and we are starting the training next weekend. We will also begin the home study shortly, and once that is completed we begin the "matching" process with a child. We are so excited and nervous, but know this is a journey that will have it's ups and downs, but once we reach the other side we will be able to look back and know with satisfaction that we did all we were supposed to (or at least try really hard to!). Anyways, I know some people are confused why we would adopt when we can have our own children, and the answer is complex that it is hard to explain, but I have had so many promptings and desires since a young age to adopt, that I knew this would be a path I would travel down some day. I know that since we are all God's children and are all loved by him the same, regardless of background, we all deserve a chance. Some children are born into very unfortunate circumstances, why should they suffer when there are homes like ours fully capable of loving and nurturing more children? Some people think it's different because they weren't born into your family, but if we are all children of God, what does that matter? Biological children can cause just as many problems as adopted children, the point being, they are all children regardless of whether or not they are "adopted" or "biological". To me, it is the same, and I will love them the same. At first we were thinking of an older child, but after attending a BBQ hosted by Family Builders (the agency we are going through), a lot of the advice were given from those who have gone before us was to adopt a child younger than our own, or the same age. We'll see what happens, I strongly know that God has a child in mind for us, and it doesn't matter to me if they come to me as an infant or as a 12 year old! Adoption is such a complex issue, and I know it will be a road full of frustrations, joys, despairs, and triumphs, but I know I am able to rise to the occasion, I have rose to many occasions and am strong enough to shoulder burdens, and turn those burdens into triumphs!

The hard thing is waiting, and wondering, will we adopt a newborn? A 3 year old? A teenager? i just don't know, but since having met a wonderful woman from Oakland who takes home emergency placements of babies from the hospital, usually drug addicted, I also felt a tinge of inspiration that perhaps that is something we could maybe do one day. We are exicited as a family for this, and it might take some time, it might not even happen until after we leave San francisco next year, but that's okay. Patience I tell myself...patience.

collage

Trip pictures and laziness

Break from school is fun. lots of beach, lots of pool, swimming lessons (way cheaper here than in San Francisco) hanging out with lots of family, and the best is watching my kids play with their cousins. Next week is the last week of break, which leaves me a little melancholy since we have no family and not many friends up in San Fran, and I know kit's going to be a crazy busy year for Christian! I am also way excited because in January I will get to apply to finish my nursing program finally, yea! only 4 more nursing classes and I am done!

today I took Leif with me to the mall and we picked out clothes for Christian for the upcoming school year, he loved running round the mall and racing me, that little boy is such a sweet cuddler, I am so grateful I have him. Grace has been doing great swimming, she has built so much confidence in just the last week, she would never get in the pool before and now she is trying to swim in the big pool! she is such a delight, always playful and boisterous, there is never a dull moment with Grace.

We started our paperwork to adopt a foster child in April. the paperwork is coming along and it looks like we might be done by October! I am so excited and nervous to start looking at profiles of children and meeting new faces, we may be adding another member to our family next year!

Last night we had a big birthday party for Christian, I made way too much food but it was fun and we all feasted our brains out!

Tomorrow I am going to Lila's for a graduation party for Nathan, we'll see how that goes.

Till next time.....

update on life

I am so awful at posting on my blog! This is ridiculous, but here I am in Camarillo and so many wonderful things happen everyday and I don't write them down and I know I will forget! christian has been on break since June 9th, and doesn't have to go back to school until July 12th! we started the break by Christian and I taking a hike into the Sespe wilderness above Ojai. It was beautiful! We started the hike at 1pm in the afternoon, which was a big mistake, since it was 100 degrees and we were carrying heavy packs. the hike itself took 5 hours to reach our destination, willett Springs (which we actually stopped at a campsite just before that one) It was 99 miles in and by the time we got there I was kind of sick, I think we had heat exhaustion. The problem was we drank plenty of water but did not replace our electrolytes, big mistake. On the way in we kind of crossed back and forth across the river, which was very nice, and a lot cooler than the last part. The last part of the hike was up higher, we hiked up and down steep slopes in the blazing heat. I think we were at the end of our ropes when we came down the side of a steep hill and below us we saw a sandy beach and a wide river, and an orange tent set up on the sand. We went down and poked around and introduced ourselves the other camper, a guy that was camping by himself, he pointed at a nice camp spot and that was where we settled down. We set up our camp, collected firewood, made oats for dinner, and washed up in the river. Sleeping did not come easy that night, after reading scriptures we turned the flashlight off and tried to sleep but every little noise made me jump. The ranger had told us there were lots of bears and mountain lions, so every scrape against the tent I startled and jumped up out of bed. I finally got used to the noises when I realized it was just the wind rustling our tent, (except for all the little critter footprints around our tent in the morning) The next day we arose, ate breakfast, made yummy ash cakes, and hiked to willett springs. I was still pretty sick from the day before, and it was still very hot. We soaked in the river 4 times that day, which was fun. Towards the afternoon I started to feel better and we swam in the river alot and then made a ton of ash cakes for our hike out the next day. I slept way better the 2nd night, but because it was so hot (100-105) We woke up at 5 am the next morning, packed up, and hiked out. The hike out took us 4 hours still, but was much nicer considering the weather was cooler. We explored the Sespe a little more, hiked to Rose valley Falls, found Lions Camp, and old camping/swim spot Christian used to go to when he was younger, then we headed out to Pismo Beach where we spent 2 nights at the Seaventure. we explored and sunbathed and just had a really good time together. I am so grateful my mother in law was willing to watch the kids the whole week for us, thank you Debi! We stayed 1 night in San Luis Obispo where we hiked Bishops Peak, saw Robin Hood (ugh) and went to the farmers market, which was 5 city blocks, it was huge! We also went to the Pismo Beach Classic Car show which was fun, my fav. is still the old Chevy trucks! Christian fell in love with the new California Special (mustang).

Leif is 16 months old now, he loves playing, cuddling (my favorite) and is starting to talk more. He says more, water, down, and will mimick most words we say if we repeat them to him. He is very sweet. He is afraid of the water though, and screamed when Christian took him into Aunt Gayle's pool! although, we took the kids back to Lions camp with Kirsten and her kids and he hung out at the waters edge, throwing a ball in the water then retrieving it over and over again, for over an hour. Grace stayed on her pink intertube and laid on her tummy and kicked around the swimming hole, she loved it! i had fun swimming and hope we can go back again before we head up to San Francisco (or francisco, as grace calls it). Grace is getting so big, her vocabulary is expanding and she is beg. to tell us stories and making up her own songs, she is starting swim lessons tomorrow. We went Cherry picking last friday with Ditte, Kirsten, Else, Marci, and we met Cristin and Eric there. We picked 3 and a half pounds, took a tractor ride, and played in the shade and ate lunch. Last night we saw Toy story 3, it made Grace sad and she cried when I told her I could not come to college with her. We then went to Doug Bell's wedding reception, it was packed with people and delicious bread basket cake~ I helped out in the kitchen and also helped clean up. I saw Breanne with her cute new little twins, David and Emily, it was so fun to sit and chat with her, I hadn't seen her for a long time.

Mette is getting married in August, then hopefully we can go to bass Lake and Carpinteria for the family reuinions and lots of play time.

our paperwork for the fost adopt is moving along, we should begin looking at childrens profiles before december, I am so excited and nervous at the same time, I know Heavenly Father has a child in mind for us, I am anxious to see who will be joining our family, i know it is a long road, and it will be difficult and emotional, but I know the rewards will be plentiful, more than enough to overshadow any doubt or pain we may encounter.

It was good to see Grace and Leif when we got home, I missed them a lot.

I am so excited to apply for the last 2 semesters of nursing school next year!

Christian is still debating on whether or not to apply for a GPR, most dentists he talks to say it is not necessary, we'll see what he decides to do.

Today is the sabbath, I loved our Relief society lesson about having the spirit poured out upon souls, we need to keep the covenants we make with God, I know He loves us, and is mindful of us and watches over us everyday, I am grateful to belong to the true church of Jesus Christ!

On Friday, we met my friend Juliana, whom I have not seen for 8 years. She lives in Simi Valley and has 2 children, Jasmine and Jamison, very sweet children. It was so good to see an old friend and catch up, I hope we can keep in contact. Afterwards we went to the temple where Christian and I took turns doing initiatories. It took over 4 hours, but it was wonderful to be inside the temple, it truly is an escape from the world, heaven on earth. The children were starving by the time I got out of the temple, 6pm, and we were all a little cranky at each other, so we drove in traffic down the PCH until we found a little pizza place we will never go to again, bad pizza. There was a little water fountain next to where we were sitting and Leif kept sticking his mouth into it and rinking, I wonder how many different things he picks up that way!

Friday night, March 12th....

Leif is officially a walking toddler now, the best is when he holds his hands up in the air while walking, it reminds me of a baby chimapnzee! He had his 12 month check up today (19 lbs, 6oz, 29 inches long, happy healthy, still only 6 teeth) a few immunizations, but he did very well and cried only for a few minutes. Immunizations are always a little scary for me, I worry for a few weeks if my son will suddenly become autistic or die in his sleep, but so far, so good. Grace is doing an excellent job with her reading, I really wish she had more friends to play with, but so far no body seems to want to have a regular play date, at least any of the other little girls her age, maybe it's just me though. Last night I went to a baby shower for Kristina Clark and Annie Packard, both are prego with their 2nd baby. It was fun to be with everyone and hang out. It's interesting growing up, watching everyone start families, take on more responsibilities, watching our parents age, buying homes, it's kind of scary actually. it's a little terrifying being completely responsible for everything, I miss the days when I lived at home and everything was taken care of, I guess this is how we learn and grow though, by doing. I hope I can be a good example to Grace, so that when she's all grown up she'll be able to handle all these responsibilities better than I can, but for now, I'll just fake it! (Fake it till ya make it, right?). Grace misses Camarillo a lot, she misses her cousins so much, it's a huge reason we want to move back home, so Grace and Leif can be around good people, I hope their bonds with their cousins deepen and they will be able to guide each other though the messiness of junoir high and young adulthood, I am terrified they will make my same mistakes, I think I pray and ponder everyday for ways that we can avoid that.

Next week Christian is going to the Dominican Republic for a service mission, I am so happy he gets to do this (and yes, jealous too). I get to fly to my parents on Tuesday, the 16th, with the kids. With any luck, all will go well and during our stay Grace and I will get to fly to Philadelphia and visit Seth and Micah, I haven't seen Seth or his family since Christmas 2008. I miss my brother and niece and nephew terribly, I hate the fact that Grace never sees them, I feel like she is missing my whole side of the family. When we are in Utah we will get to go snow skiing! I can't wait to see Grace on those bunny hills!

Another Week

Leif is walking! I cannot believe it! He is taking almost 20-30 steps in a row now! I am kind of sad that my baby is no longer a baby, but a toddler, as he is officially "toddling" along. He loves to point at objects and say "oooo", he is not talking much yet, or really at all, just making gestures, throwing fits, and mimicking noises. Grace is starting to read now, she is reading by herself even, words like pen, hen, sat, cat, dog, very simple, but amazing for her young age. We took a last minute trip to grandma debi's house last week to see Ilene(not sure if it is spelled right), Aunt Kirsten's new baby girl. She has thick, black hair, and a tiny, sweet face. It was so fun to get to hold her. We got to take Addy and Audrey shopping, it was very fun watching the girls pick out clothes, I have a feeling someday they will be helping me pick out my clothes. They picked out a few outfits, including some cool Ugg style boots. We actually went to Nordstrom, where they tried on the real Ugg boots, but after seeing the sticker price we decided they were over rated. Leif got very sick during the trip, so we ended up staying an extra day. He had high fevers and was so lethargic. He is still sick this week, and I have ended up catching it as well. I am up to 8 mile runs now, it feels so good, I have decided to start training for a half marathon, maybe one in St. George or here in San Fran. Grace had so much fun hanging out with her cousins, she is always in heaven when we go down there and tells me she wants to live there., but she always misses my parents in Utah as well, it'd be so nice if we could all live in one place. Life is too short to miss so much of each other's lives. I have not seen my brother Seth, or his wife and kids since Christmas of 2008, I miss them so much and hope to see them soon. Right now Christian and I are tossing ideas around about where to live after dental school. The latest is South Dakota. They have a very attractive loan repayment program. I am getting antsy waiting to finish my nursing program though, so we need to go wherever that may be where I can finish up. Christian is progressing with his dentistry, it's fun to hear stories about him working on patients. He challenged me to read the Book of Mormon in 90 days, I took the challenge....we'll see...I know I can do it. I've never actually read the whole thing front cover to back by myself, with other people I have, it's about time. It's funny though, I know what is testified in that book is true, and is from God. My faith feels like a mustard seed, strong, sometimes small, but it never dies. I feel so blessed for all the wonderful things my family has, to be here in dental school, to have 2 healthy kids, a running car, an apartment. there are so many people that are without, places so destitute I cannot even imagine, I wish to go to those people someday and do whatever I can to help, it is what I have always wanted to do, and a huge part of the reason I am so driven to finish my nursing degree. It is only 5 more nursing classes for my RN, I finally received my LVN license in the mail (only took almsot a whole year! way to go CA nursing boards!). Brother Down's health is failing him, he has tumors on his spine. It makes me so sad to think he will not be with us much longer. He has always been there in my life, he has always been a permanent fixture, someone you know that is always steady, and I have to admit, what I crave and need in my life more than anything is steadiness. I am grateful for my life, and I thank God every day for it, for all I have comes from Him.

Will Running Barefoot work for me?

Nervous........that's how I feel. I ran for years and loved it. I would run 60-90 minutes at a time. Shortly after Christian and I were married, we were down in Camarillo for Trine's wedding. The morning of the wedding, I went for a usual run up into the Camarillo Heights, nothing unusal, just a regular run. Later that day I sprinted to th car to grab something out, and then in happened. It felt like my knees snapped. I could not walk without pain for 2 weeks, and ever since then I have never been able to run. Since then I have taken up cycling, which is a challenging and suitable alternative, however, I miss running. A glimmer of hope recently hit me with a new book called Born to Run. I read it hungrily, and basically, after researching many websites and studies, the problem is not with my body, but with the running shoes we spend so much money on. It makes sense, infact, running shoes were not even invented until the 1970's, and along with that came the notion that we are supposed to run heel first, which is unnatural. Go ahead and try it, kick off your kicks and run around a little bit, you'll find that you naturally hot down on the ball of your foot first.

Anyways, I bought these Vibrams, they are kind of like a glove for your foot. I had my first big run on saturday, which was a mistake, since you are supposed to break into them slowly, but I ran about 5-6 miles and am regretting, I am so sore I look funny when I walk. So today, Tuesday, I did my regular spin class this morning, which was also hard with sore calves. To top it off, after Grace's gymnastics we (Christian got a pair also) took a quick run down Crissy field to Fort Mason and back. If that wasn't enough, I walked to christians school later today with the kids on the stroller, my feet are dead. It takes a while to build all the muscles back up that have been laying dormant for so long, so I am giving it a fair try, 30 days. So far, I am pain free. I had a tiny twinge in my knee on Saturday, but that was after for running for 45 minutes with a completey new form, big mistake. My advice, take it slow, now if only I could listen to myself