Quick update

so much goes on so quickly I can never keep up, it's not that we are doing tons of spectacular things, rather our days are full of playing at the park, exploring new places, naps, grocery shopping, cooking, sewing, drawing, coloring, playing with toys, seeing friends at playgroup, watching movies, exercising, traveling to see family, and so forth that I can't write it all down. I feel so blessed to have a rich abundance of family, healthy children, a faithful and good husband, and a healthy body that I sometimes am afraid for the murky waters that always seem to creep up on you when life is at it's best.

We are currently in the process of adopting a foster child. We have completed the paperwork part (which takes 4 months) and we are starting the training next weekend. We will also begin the home study shortly, and once that is completed we begin the "matching" process with a child. We are so excited and nervous, but know this is a journey that will have it's ups and downs, but once we reach the other side we will be able to look back and know with satisfaction that we did all we were supposed to (or at least try really hard to!). Anyways, I know some people are confused why we would adopt when we can have our own children, and the answer is complex that it is hard to explain, but I have had so many promptings and desires since a young age to adopt, that I knew this would be a path I would travel down some day. I know that since we are all God's children and are all loved by him the same, regardless of background, we all deserve a chance. Some children are born into very unfortunate circumstances, why should they suffer when there are homes like ours fully capable of loving and nurturing more children? Some people think it's different because they weren't born into your family, but if we are all children of God, what does that matter? Biological children can cause just as many problems as adopted children, the point being, they are all children regardless of whether or not they are "adopted" or "biological". To me, it is the same, and I will love them the same. At first we were thinking of an older child, but after attending a BBQ hosted by Family Builders (the agency we are going through), a lot of the advice were given from those who have gone before us was to adopt a child younger than our own, or the same age. We'll see what happens, I strongly know that God has a child in mind for us, and it doesn't matter to me if they come to me as an infant or as a 12 year old! Adoption is such a complex issue, and I know it will be a road full of frustrations, joys, despairs, and triumphs, but I know I am able to rise to the occasion, I have rose to many occasions and am strong enough to shoulder burdens, and turn those burdens into triumphs!

The hard thing is waiting, and wondering, will we adopt a newborn? A 3 year old? A teenager? i just don't know, but since having met a wonderful woman from Oakland who takes home emergency placements of babies from the hospital, usually drug addicted, I also felt a tinge of inspiration that perhaps that is something we could maybe do one day. We are exicited as a family for this, and it might take some time, it might not even happen until after we leave San francisco next year, but that's okay. Patience I tell myself...patience.

collage

Trip pictures and laziness

Break from school is fun. lots of beach, lots of pool, swimming lessons (way cheaper here than in San Francisco) hanging out with lots of family, and the best is watching my kids play with their cousins. Next week is the last week of break, which leaves me a little melancholy since we have no family and not many friends up in San Fran, and I know kit's going to be a crazy busy year for Christian! I am also way excited because in January I will get to apply to finish my nursing program finally, yea! only 4 more nursing classes and I am done!

today I took Leif with me to the mall and we picked out clothes for Christian for the upcoming school year, he loved running round the mall and racing me, that little boy is such a sweet cuddler, I am so grateful I have him. Grace has been doing great swimming, she has built so much confidence in just the last week, she would never get in the pool before and now she is trying to swim in the big pool! she is such a delight, always playful and boisterous, there is never a dull moment with Grace.

We started our paperwork to adopt a foster child in April. the paperwork is coming along and it looks like we might be done by October! I am so excited and nervous to start looking at profiles of children and meeting new faces, we may be adding another member to our family next year!

Last night we had a big birthday party for Christian, I made way too much food but it was fun and we all feasted our brains out!

Tomorrow I am going to Lila's for a graduation party for Nathan, we'll see how that goes.

Till next time.....

update on life

I am so awful at posting on my blog! This is ridiculous, but here I am in Camarillo and so many wonderful things happen everyday and I don't write them down and I know I will forget! christian has been on break since June 9th, and doesn't have to go back to school until July 12th! we started the break by Christian and I taking a hike into the Sespe wilderness above Ojai. It was beautiful! We started the hike at 1pm in the afternoon, which was a big mistake, since it was 100 degrees and we were carrying heavy packs. the hike itself took 5 hours to reach our destination, willett Springs (which we actually stopped at a campsite just before that one) It was 99 miles in and by the time we got there I was kind of sick, I think we had heat exhaustion. The problem was we drank plenty of water but did not replace our electrolytes, big mistake. On the way in we kind of crossed back and forth across the river, which was very nice, and a lot cooler than the last part. The last part of the hike was up higher, we hiked up and down steep slopes in the blazing heat. I think we were at the end of our ropes when we came down the side of a steep hill and below us we saw a sandy beach and a wide river, and an orange tent set up on the sand. We went down and poked around and introduced ourselves the other camper, a guy that was camping by himself, he pointed at a nice camp spot and that was where we settled down. We set up our camp, collected firewood, made oats for dinner, and washed up in the river. Sleeping did not come easy that night, after reading scriptures we turned the flashlight off and tried to sleep but every little noise made me jump. The ranger had told us there were lots of bears and mountain lions, so every scrape against the tent I startled and jumped up out of bed. I finally got used to the noises when I realized it was just the wind rustling our tent, (except for all the little critter footprints around our tent in the morning) The next day we arose, ate breakfast, made yummy ash cakes, and hiked to willett springs. I was still pretty sick from the day before, and it was still very hot. We soaked in the river 4 times that day, which was fun. Towards the afternoon I started to feel better and we swam in the river alot and then made a ton of ash cakes for our hike out the next day. I slept way better the 2nd night, but because it was so hot (100-105) We woke up at 5 am the next morning, packed up, and hiked out. The hike out took us 4 hours still, but was much nicer considering the weather was cooler. We explored the Sespe a little more, hiked to Rose valley Falls, found Lions Camp, and old camping/swim spot Christian used to go to when he was younger, then we headed out to Pismo Beach where we spent 2 nights at the Seaventure. we explored and sunbathed and just had a really good time together. I am so grateful my mother in law was willing to watch the kids the whole week for us, thank you Debi! We stayed 1 night in San Luis Obispo where we hiked Bishops Peak, saw Robin Hood (ugh) and went to the farmers market, which was 5 city blocks, it was huge! We also went to the Pismo Beach Classic Car show which was fun, my fav. is still the old Chevy trucks! Christian fell in love with the new California Special (mustang).

Leif is 16 months old now, he loves playing, cuddling (my favorite) and is starting to talk more. He says more, water, down, and will mimick most words we say if we repeat them to him. He is very sweet. He is afraid of the water though, and screamed when Christian took him into Aunt Gayle's pool! although, we took the kids back to Lions camp with Kirsten and her kids and he hung out at the waters edge, throwing a ball in the water then retrieving it over and over again, for over an hour. Grace stayed on her pink intertube and laid on her tummy and kicked around the swimming hole, she loved it! i had fun swimming and hope we can go back again before we head up to San Francisco (or francisco, as grace calls it). Grace is getting so big, her vocabulary is expanding and she is beg. to tell us stories and making up her own songs, she is starting swim lessons tomorrow. We went Cherry picking last friday with Ditte, Kirsten, Else, Marci, and we met Cristin and Eric there. We picked 3 and a half pounds, took a tractor ride, and played in the shade and ate lunch. Last night we saw Toy story 3, it made Grace sad and she cried when I told her I could not come to college with her. We then went to Doug Bell's wedding reception, it was packed with people and delicious bread basket cake~ I helped out in the kitchen and also helped clean up. I saw Breanne with her cute new little twins, David and Emily, it was so fun to sit and chat with her, I hadn't seen her for a long time.

Mette is getting married in August, then hopefully we can go to bass Lake and Carpinteria for the family reuinions and lots of play time.

our paperwork for the fost adopt is moving along, we should begin looking at childrens profiles before december, I am so excited and nervous at the same time, I know Heavenly Father has a child in mind for us, I am anxious to see who will be joining our family, i know it is a long road, and it will be difficult and emotional, but I know the rewards will be plentiful, more than enough to overshadow any doubt or pain we may encounter.

It was good to see Grace and Leif when we got home, I missed them a lot.

I am so excited to apply for the last 2 semesters of nursing school next year!

Christian is still debating on whether or not to apply for a GPR, most dentists he talks to say it is not necessary, we'll see what he decides to do.

Today is the sabbath, I loved our Relief society lesson about having the spirit poured out upon souls, we need to keep the covenants we make with God, I know He loves us, and is mindful of us and watches over us everyday, I am grateful to belong to the true church of Jesus Christ!

On Friday, we met my friend Juliana, whom I have not seen for 8 years. She lives in Simi Valley and has 2 children, Jasmine and Jamison, very sweet children. It was so good to see an old friend and catch up, I hope we can keep in contact. Afterwards we went to the temple where Christian and I took turns doing initiatories. It took over 4 hours, but it was wonderful to be inside the temple, it truly is an escape from the world, heaven on earth. The children were starving by the time I got out of the temple, 6pm, and we were all a little cranky at each other, so we drove in traffic down the PCH until we found a little pizza place we will never go to again, bad pizza. There was a little water fountain next to where we were sitting and Leif kept sticking his mouth into it and rinking, I wonder how many different things he picks up that way!

Friday night, March 12th....

Leif is officially a walking toddler now, the best is when he holds his hands up in the air while walking, it reminds me of a baby chimapnzee! He had his 12 month check up today (19 lbs, 6oz, 29 inches long, happy healthy, still only 6 teeth) a few immunizations, but he did very well and cried only for a few minutes. Immunizations are always a little scary for me, I worry for a few weeks if my son will suddenly become autistic or die in his sleep, but so far, so good. Grace is doing an excellent job with her reading, I really wish she had more friends to play with, but so far no body seems to want to have a regular play date, at least any of the other little girls her age, maybe it's just me though. Last night I went to a baby shower for Kristina Clark and Annie Packard, both are prego with their 2nd baby. It was fun to be with everyone and hang out. It's interesting growing up, watching everyone start families, take on more responsibilities, watching our parents age, buying homes, it's kind of scary actually. it's a little terrifying being completely responsible for everything, I miss the days when I lived at home and everything was taken care of, I guess this is how we learn and grow though, by doing. I hope I can be a good example to Grace, so that when she's all grown up she'll be able to handle all these responsibilities better than I can, but for now, I'll just fake it! (Fake it till ya make it, right?). Grace misses Camarillo a lot, she misses her cousins so much, it's a huge reason we want to move back home, so Grace and Leif can be around good people, I hope their bonds with their cousins deepen and they will be able to guide each other though the messiness of junoir high and young adulthood, I am terrified they will make my same mistakes, I think I pray and ponder everyday for ways that we can avoid that.

Next week Christian is going to the Dominican Republic for a service mission, I am so happy he gets to do this (and yes, jealous too). I get to fly to my parents on Tuesday, the 16th, with the kids. With any luck, all will go well and during our stay Grace and I will get to fly to Philadelphia and visit Seth and Micah, I haven't seen Seth or his family since Christmas 2008. I miss my brother and niece and nephew terribly, I hate the fact that Grace never sees them, I feel like she is missing my whole side of the family. When we are in Utah we will get to go snow skiing! I can't wait to see Grace on those bunny hills!

Another Week

Leif is walking! I cannot believe it! He is taking almost 20-30 steps in a row now! I am kind of sad that my baby is no longer a baby, but a toddler, as he is officially "toddling" along. He loves to point at objects and say "oooo", he is not talking much yet, or really at all, just making gestures, throwing fits, and mimicking noises. Grace is starting to read now, she is reading by herself even, words like pen, hen, sat, cat, dog, very simple, but amazing for her young age. We took a last minute trip to grandma debi's house last week to see Ilene(not sure if it is spelled right), Aunt Kirsten's new baby girl. She has thick, black hair, and a tiny, sweet face. It was so fun to get to hold her. We got to take Addy and Audrey shopping, it was very fun watching the girls pick out clothes, I have a feeling someday they will be helping me pick out my clothes. They picked out a few outfits, including some cool Ugg style boots. We actually went to Nordstrom, where they tried on the real Ugg boots, but after seeing the sticker price we decided they were over rated. Leif got very sick during the trip, so we ended up staying an extra day. He had high fevers and was so lethargic. He is still sick this week, and I have ended up catching it as well. I am up to 8 mile runs now, it feels so good, I have decided to start training for a half marathon, maybe one in St. George or here in San Fran. Grace had so much fun hanging out with her cousins, she is always in heaven when we go down there and tells me she wants to live there., but she always misses my parents in Utah as well, it'd be so nice if we could all live in one place. Life is too short to miss so much of each other's lives. I have not seen my brother Seth, or his wife and kids since Christmas of 2008, I miss them so much and hope to see them soon. Right now Christian and I are tossing ideas around about where to live after dental school. The latest is South Dakota. They have a very attractive loan repayment program. I am getting antsy waiting to finish my nursing program though, so we need to go wherever that may be where I can finish up. Christian is progressing with his dentistry, it's fun to hear stories about him working on patients. He challenged me to read the Book of Mormon in 90 days, I took the challenge....we'll see...I know I can do it. I've never actually read the whole thing front cover to back by myself, with other people I have, it's about time. It's funny though, I know what is testified in that book is true, and is from God. My faith feels like a mustard seed, strong, sometimes small, but it never dies. I feel so blessed for all the wonderful things my family has, to be here in dental school, to have 2 healthy kids, a running car, an apartment. there are so many people that are without, places so destitute I cannot even imagine, I wish to go to those people someday and do whatever I can to help, it is what I have always wanted to do, and a huge part of the reason I am so driven to finish my nursing degree. It is only 5 more nursing classes for my RN, I finally received my LVN license in the mail (only took almsot a whole year! way to go CA nursing boards!). Brother Down's health is failing him, he has tumors on his spine. It makes me so sad to think he will not be with us much longer. He has always been there in my life, he has always been a permanent fixture, someone you know that is always steady, and I have to admit, what I crave and need in my life more than anything is steadiness. I am grateful for my life, and I thank God every day for it, for all I have comes from Him.

Will Running Barefoot work for me?

Nervous........that's how I feel. I ran for years and loved it. I would run 60-90 minutes at a time. Shortly after Christian and I were married, we were down in Camarillo for Trine's wedding. The morning of the wedding, I went for a usual run up into the Camarillo Heights, nothing unusal, just a regular run. Later that day I sprinted to th car to grab something out, and then in happened. It felt like my knees snapped. I could not walk without pain for 2 weeks, and ever since then I have never been able to run. Since then I have taken up cycling, which is a challenging and suitable alternative, however, I miss running. A glimmer of hope recently hit me with a new book called Born to Run. I read it hungrily, and basically, after researching many websites and studies, the problem is not with my body, but with the running shoes we spend so much money on. It makes sense, infact, running shoes were not even invented until the 1970's, and along with that came the notion that we are supposed to run heel first, which is unnatural. Go ahead and try it, kick off your kicks and run around a little bit, you'll find that you naturally hot down on the ball of your foot first.

Anyways, I bought these Vibrams, they are kind of like a glove for your foot. I had my first big run on saturday, which was a mistake, since you are supposed to break into them slowly, but I ran about 5-6 miles and am regretting, I am so sore I look funny when I walk. So today, Tuesday, I did my regular spin class this morning, which was also hard with sore calves. To top it off, after Grace's gymnastics we (Christian got a pair also) took a quick run down Crissy field to Fort Mason and back. If that wasn't enough, I walked to christians school later today with the kids on the stroller, my feet are dead. It takes a while to build all the muscles back up that have been laying dormant for so long, so I am giving it a fair try, 30 days. So far, I am pain free. I had a tiny twinge in my knee on Saturday, but that was after for running for 45 minutes with a completey new form, big mistake. My advice, take it slow, now if only I could listen to myself

Too Long

I wish I was better at doing this, I look at other people's blog's with green eyes sometimes, but I remind myself that they are putting the time and effort into it and I am not! New Years resolutions you ask? Lose the rest of that baby weight, blog 3 times a week, and become a master seamstress! (haha to that last one, good luck!) Anyways, we are back from the holidays, it was an interesrting, kinda different trip. Christian ended up sleeping at his parents every night with Grace, myself, I need a full nights rest and that just wasn't going to happen at his parents house that holiday season, so what did I do? I slept at my sister in law's mother-in-laws house. thank heavens they had 2 spare rooms, and I was in bed, lights out, by 9:30 almost every night. It was pure bliss for me. Leif slept in the other spare room, needless to say, we were both well rested individuals this holiday season, maybe too rested. I wish I had the pics to put up right now of grace covered in presents, literally, you could barely see her face when we piled all those presents on her? Did I go overboard this year? Maybe just a little, but there is nothing quite like seeing a tiny little girl covered in Christmas presents, and seeing the beautiful tree bursting with presents, like popcorn exploded out of a bag. It was wonderful. I surprised Christian with a Kindle ereader from Amazon this year, he has not taken too much interest in it, although I admit I have. I have not read so much as I have been lately in the past five years, I absolutely am in love with that Kindle. christian also surprised me with an Ipod nano, pink in color, and perfect for me. this year I did not wrap presents for myslef, but found it was much more enjoyable to watch my kids have presents to open, and Cjristian, who also got a very nice G-shock watch from my parents. What else was special? The walk on the beach in Leo Carillo the night before we left with our family, the amazing sunset that splashed brilliant colors onto the sand, it felt magical watching the boats on the ocean glowing in greens and blues. we celebrated our 5th anniversary this year by watching Avatar, it was such a cool movie, it left me wanting to see it again. We snuck in Baja fresh and a jamba juice to share also. Leif is now standing on his own, no steps yet. He is a delightful little boy, he loves to point his finger and is delighted if you point your finger and touch the tip of his. He smiles a lot, loves to giggle, and is quite the mama's boy, I could hold him all day and he'd be content. He liked being with all his cousins, especially Charlotte, they loved looking at each other and interaacting. Grace had so much fun it wore her out. She had a sleepover at Aunt Kirstens house one night, and came home looking guilty. she confessed that "Mommy, Isaac marry me." she looked quite worried. I told her it was ok, that she wasn't really married and would get married someday when she was alot bigger, and that you can't marry cousins. Isaac had told her "grace, you are the perfect woman for me." Cute. We met Nathan at the Grove in LA. It was fun to hang out. We journeyed to the Amercian Girl doll store, where I drooled and gawked at the beautiful dolls and all their accessories. We did end up getting grace a bitty twin doll,at a bitty price of $55, and later took another trip the next week with Kirsten and her kids to get a little puppy to go along with the doll.

Update

Wow, what a busy season. Grace turned 4 years old yesterday, it was soe exciting to see her open presents and sing happy birthday to her. we met her friends Sarah Osness and Owen Gurney at the movie theater on downtown san francisco and saw the movie The Princess and the Frog. It was so sweet to see her little friends bring her presents. She said she wanted fish for her birthday, so we got her fish n chips, which she hardly ate any of. It was fun to stroll around the busy mall and see al the shoppers. Grace also got a hello kitty backpack, a book reader, a bumblebee necklace, some undies and socks, and a hello kitty outfit. Leif is also growing up so much, I still nurse him every couple hours, but he is fully crawling now, and has 4 teeth on top and 2 on bottom. He has had a cold for the last few weeks, and runny poop, I am actually just getting over my 3rd cold in the last 3 weeks! Yesterday Leif said up, it was so cute! Last week, he started dancing. There was some music on and he bounced up and down to it and giggled. He is such a sweet boy, I love him so much, he loves to cuddle and be held by me, he cries whenever I leave the room, and will crawl around after me. It's funny though, because sometimes he will crawl around after me and cry, but along his way he'll see something interesting that catches his attention for a moment and will stop crying to look at it, but he usually just resumes crying after a few seconds and continues to crawl after me. the saturday after Thanksgiving we had a birthday party for Grace and Isaac. We got Grace a Buzz lightyear toy, which she had been asking for. They also had a blue monster pinata, it was so cute because Leyna was there, it was so fun to see them all together and play together. Trine and Larry live in New Hampshire now, so we probably won't see them for sometime. We had pizza and salad, and ice cream cake at the birthday party, Sean Paroski came and gave grace an adorable tea set. my parents gave her a little people christmas village set. Thanksgiving was spent at Doris' house, she was gone but my parents stayed there. i love my mom's thanksgiving food, I hadn't had it for sometime. Nathan and Claudia were there, as well, as Heidi, Ben, and Derk, who only stayed for like and hour. After dinnertime, we went to Gayle's and had dessert. Doris' wedding was beautiful. Her and clark were married in the LA temple, Grace got to be a flower girl and wear a light pink dress. while all the adults were inside the temple, all the kids were in one of the temple apartment rooms cristin and Erik had rented, it was kind of packed and crazy, but they had fun. Grace danced and ran around with her cousins for a long time at the reception, until she actually said "I'm tired of dancing"Leif was so tied he actually fell asleep in my moms arms.

We stayed at else and Hans house for the rest of the thanksgiving break, it was a cute little apt.

To Utah we went

On sunday, the 8th of November, we packed the car up with one suitcase, 1 smal bag, my diaper bag, and a bag full of treats and headed to the Oakland airport. Christian dropped us off, and lucky for me, was allowed to escort us to the gate. I felt so sad saying goodbye to him, I am always sad to leave my sweetheart, and deep inside I say to my self, "Well, he can use the extra time to himself to study for boards and his upcoming exams." I think he does. The flight was fine, Grace sat and talked to everyone that was within an arms reach of her, by the end of the flight everyone around us knew her name and ours! It's a little tough carrying a baby in a carrier plus 2 bags down the aisles of the airplane without knocking someone in the head, on my way down the aisle a man told me, 'Why don't they let families on first." The used, and I don't know why they stopped, it probably has something to do with treating everyone equally (thank you women's sufferage...) but now I can proudly walk the aisles of airplanes showing off my 2 children as I bonk everyone in the head with my bags guilt free and annoy with my voice as I say over and over again,"Keep moving Grace...keep moving forward, don't stop, no, don't do that, don't touch them, just keep moving forward." I actually like the back of the airplane for some reason, maybe because by the time we actually exit the airplane our stroller is at the gaate waitng for us! The weather has been nice here this week. Last night the wind's started howling loudly and the weather turned a bit cold today. On Monday we went to Gracie Lou's Quilt shop and I purchased some fabric. Yes, I have gotten into sewing, infact, I love it. So far I have made 2 dolls, I am starting a third, and started a skirt for Grace. It is so fun and I have so many ideas swarming my head it's driving me crazy knowing I don't have the expertise to create them yet. My father got ill on Tuesday, gastroenteritis, probably caught from Leif who had it the week earlier and just got better. Last Tuesday morning he slept in, which is odd for him, and when I finally went into to get him he was covered with dry vomit, poor little guy. The week before Grace had had the flu and threw up at the park, the looks from the other mothers were enough to start anybody on fire. And I am not talking young mothers, I mean, these women are in their 40's pregnant with their first, San Francisco is a different world. I am sure some people think I am a nanny because I see nannies everywhere at the park, you usually know because the child is a complete different color than the caregiver. Anyways, the next day after my father caught the stomach flu my mom caught it, it knocked them both out completely. Micah came in on Tuesday night, I was so happy to see him, I have not seen him since Christmas, he has never met Leif before. He seems to enjoy holding him and Grace can't get enough of him . On the way home from Costco tonight we decided to stop and do a taste test of two burger shops across the street from eachother to see who had the best milkshake. Glade's did not win.
In other news, Doris is getting married next week. Her bridal shower was Oct. 25th, Christian and I drove down last minute for it, it was amazing, I had two very sleepless nights, my allergies have been horrigle the last couple months and sometimes I get attacks at night. We hope to go to Disneyland the monday after Doris' wedding. I need to do better with money management, I hate feeling out of control, it's ridiculous.
Grace is talking to herself in her room, she's been in bed for an hour, but that is what she does. she talks herself to sleep every night, I fear we may have a night owl on our hands here, I am so not a night owl. Leif is doing well and is def. a baby who needs his sleep, we skipped his afternoon nap today to go have lunch at Osaka's, he cried alot the rest of the day. My right hip is hurting from holding him so much on it. Melanie is watching Deleah's 4 babies while they are out of town. She is so sleep deprived, I tried to give her some advice, I hope she takes it and it goes well for her.
Anyways, I feel so blessed, have 2 wonderful children, wonderful parents, wonderful husbandm wonderful brothers and in-laws, I do not feel deserving of such blessings. I know the Lord loves me, i feel it everyday and I do not give Him all I have, I need to devote more time to scripture study. I love Heavenly Father and am grateful for all I have.

The Stomach Flu and Halloween

Yikes,

double yikes, I just realized I never finished this post. Um, basically it was a crappy week, especially since the both kids puked....alot......and Leif woke up with dried vomit all over...

Halloween was fun, Grace was a cute witch, and Leif was a baby (haha). We went to our ward party where we decorated a door and passed out candy to the kids. We then headed up to the Pacific Heights and trick or treated among all the mansions. It was incredible walking around, seeing groups of kids with their mommies and daddies, who were walking along oh so elegantly, drink in hand. We got loads of candy, the night got cold, and we drove home. We drove by a few other fancy neighborhoods, and they were all very well decorated and had lots of parties going on. It was a fun night, especially watching Grace get spooked by the decorations. I loved holding her hand and walking her to the doorstep and hearing her say Trick or treat! she even had a wand and hit some lady on the head with it and said happy Halloween, the lady laughed so hard and seemed to like being hit on the head with a wand by a little girl in a witch costume!

My son is an acrobat, my Husband is a superhereo, and my daughter is a genius..

At least I think so. Last week we were sitting with Christian at a Johnny Rockets restaurant down the street from Christian's school for dinner. We were having fun with French fries, milkshakes, and burgers, when leif decided to dive bomb from his high chair, he put his hands up in the air, leaned over sideways, and dived, I caught this from the corner of my eye and let out the biggest gasp possible, which caused the whole restaurant to turn around and look, amazingly though, Christian somehow managed to put his food down and catch him by the ankle just before his head hit the floor, and I mean JUST BEFORE....we heard no thunk and Leif cried for only a second, probably from me gasping so loudly. Anyways, it must have taken spider man reflexes for Christian to catch him so quickly like that, maybe there is something he is not telling me.....

Last week Grace wrote her name all by herself, she is not even 4 years old and has never been to Pre-school, we do mini lessons at home. The girl has been singing her ABC's and has known her 123's since she was 18 months old....so kindergarten might be boring for her, but, she is a social girl so I think she would enjoy it. I would totally send her to preschool, except preschool in San Francisco costs about $1300/month, but you have to get into a good preschool here, inf act, when you find out your pregnant you put your name on a waiting list, because if you can't go to a good preschool forget about a good kindergarten, and if you haven't gone to a good kindergarten all your APPLICATIONS for 1rst grade will be rejected and you'll be sent to one on the other side of town....and most of us in our urban white part of town never cross that line after mission/market street.,....it's another world which takes us out of our comfort zone.

I would love to post a picture of Grace's handy work at writing her name, except I think our camera was stolen, along with our DVD player out of the car. This is the 2nd time I have caused ruin to come to one of our cameras, yikes. On Friday we decided last minute (as in, Hey, let's go to camarillo for Doris' briday shower..Ok, I'll pack up and let's leave in 1 hour type of last minute). we drove down the PCH 1 highway and stopped at an adorable Organic Berry farm just outside of Half Moon Bay. We delighted in fresh strawberry shortcake, berry cobbler, boysenberry truffles, chocolate covered brownie with strawbeery cheesecake centers, and hot starwberry apple cider, all of it was SO delicious I would drive down that way again. This place was so cute, there was nobody there to even take your money, it was all on an honor system, there was a cash box, you paid what you owed and took your own change, honesty and innocence still do exist in America, how refreshing.

The bridal shower was amazing, it reminded me of Maroe Antionette, the scene with all the pastries and decorations. It was beyond what anybody could expect, and the desserts were so tempting I don't think a soul out of the 80 people who attended left on without some sort of sugar high. Howeverm it was a fun weekend but sleepless one for me. I had some strange allergy attack on Friday night which I am blaming on the Blue/red ICEE from the movies, I had to get up at 2am and eat ice cream because my throat was on fire, and sunday morning I got up at 4:50 to take my mom to the LAX to fly home, she flew in from SLC just for the bridal shower. It was fun to see Eric and Cristin, and Grace loved playing with Luke and Isaac. They remind of a pack of wild kids when Grace is with all her cousins, in fact, sometimes I am reminded of the book Lord of the Flies when I see them all together and really worry what would happen if we left them alone together. I think Wyatt would become the King (like the old primitive days when kings and rulers were the strongest) because he could throw his brute strength around and perform half nelson's on anybody who dared to challenge him (he has been performing those since he was a year old I think, no joke).

We are looking forward to Halloween and the upcoming holidays.

Six Flags was Fun

On Saturday, October 17th, we journeyed to Vallejo, Ca, and went to Six Flags amusement park. The day started warm, but ended cool and cloudy. We saw all kinds of animals, elephants, leapords, tigers and lions. W also saw the dolphin and killer whale show, which Grace and Leif loved. Leif was so captivated by the flipping and jumping dolphins that his mouth hung open most of the time. The water in the fountain at the front of the park was dyed red, and there were skeletons hanging above it so it looked like blood was splashing all over them. Thriller was performed by a group, and the leader dressed in the Michael Jackson red outfit like the original. There were people dressed up like monsters and zombies walking around the park scaring little kids. At the end of the day we got a huge funnel cake topped with cold stone creamery ice cream, whipped cream, and strawberry.mmmmmmmmmmmmm.even Leif couldn't resist. We bought season passes, which total we paid $35 each for our ticket that day and tgat invcluded the upgrade to season pass, we're excited to go back. We watched Grace go on lots of cute rides, by herself, the flying elephant, the swings, she had so much fun!

I am so grateful for my little family, I love them all so much and am so blessed they have been sent to me, and that Christian is such a wonderful husband. He works hard at school and then comes home and helps me with the kids ans dinner, it's great! Life in san francisco has settled down a bit, we've found our little niche and routines, which keep us busy, like the parks, playgroup, the gym, trying different restaurants, visiting new places. I love watching Leif begin to explore his enviroment, watching him use those big, gentle hands that were made to do great things. Grace is so friendly wherever we go, she will run up to anybody and ask them to be her friend and play. We recently went and checked out peek a doodle, an indoor kids playground (for members,not too expensive to join, at least for san francisco) Afterwards we ate a Kara's cupcake in the Ghiradelli square buildings, soooooooooooo good, we picked out Raspberry Chocolate and it like melts in your mouth.

It rained today again, Grace watched Nightmare Before Christmas for the first time, I wasn't sure if it would be too scary, but she loved it. I felt bad, I was pretty lazy today and took a nap and let Grace veg out on TV.

We are all so excited for Halloween, everyday Grace is talking about her witch costume, or her birthday, or Christmas. She is so excited for Trick or Treating.

Leif doesn't have a costume, but he's only 8 moonths old, I'll just put some freaky make-up on or something.

Anyways, we are enjoying life!

The Week in Review

My oh my, and the rain came down this week! Tuesday morning I awoke to find it literally pouring rain. After getting back from the gym, Christian and I got the kids up and we drove him to school. What to do on a rainy day in a small apartment? Grace and I read stories, made magic cookie bars, and Grace copied and practiced her letters, she wrote all of ur names, even Christian and Halloween! Leif was busy napping, then crawling around and playing with toys, it's so fun watching him pull himself along on the floor, he must be getting some good upper body strength. And, of course, the boy loves to eat. It doesn't matter how much he has eaten, he always wants more, and he cannot stand it if we are sitting at the table eating and he;s not, he has to be eating whenever someone else is eating, even if he has just eaten! Watch out Leif, childhood obesity is on the rise! In fact, he loves to eat so much he ate one of those white rubber tips off the door stopper yesterday which resulted in a trip to our local ER on Cherry St.. luckily, it was not crowded, in fact, there were about 4 nurses in my room, you could tell one was training by the way she followed the other nurse, which brought back memories of all the clinicals I did in nursing school, and reminded me there are more to come. Would you believe we were in and out in under 1 hour? They X-rayed his stomach and lungs and the only thing the doctor found was alot of poop in his colon, I said,"Yeah, the boy loves to Eat alot." Not that rubber shows up on X-rays anyways. but I was relieved to hear that it was not lodged somewhere funny, like in the back of his throat which he could later regurgitate and choke on! After that, we went and picked christian up from school and hot up one of our favorite spots, Bittersweet cafe, they make the best hot chocolates, not your powdered mix in kind, real, melted chocolate. Christian got the spicy kind, which tasted like a kick to the mouth. Grace and I shared one, but I don't think she really liked it because she only took one drink, i must have not really liked it either because I gave mine to Christian. We then went home and made pizza from whole wheat dough I made earlier that day. Grace ate the pizza and Leif cried until we gave him some crust. Grace told us it was snowing in her bedroom and that she was having a party for baby Ariel, she has quite the imagination. She is already excited for Christmas, and her birthday, and Halloween, we got her witch costume from The Childrens Place, a really cute witch costume. Not sure what Lewif will be, Grace says he should be a pig. Leif is smiling that sweet smile at me right now, which is just heart melting! Yesterday we wnet and checked out this place called Peekadoodle, an indoor playground. It was really cool, every mom's dream (except the price), but they let you come and play for free one time to check it out. it's in Ghiraddelli square, which also meant we had to go and sample the chocolate in the Ghiradelli store, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........mouth watering. Grace picked out a raspberry cupcake from Kara's cupcakes, which also is mouth watering and melts in your mouth. Pekadoodle was fun though, they have a mini golden gate bridge, castle, house, gym, a cafe, nap room, classes, and a boutique, it was pretty cool and Grace had a blast running around and I loved sitting in the baby section with Leif while he crawled around.

On Tuesday we braved Union Square with my friend, Emily, who is 8 months pregnant! The kids were good, and we got fresh cream puffs from a place called Papa Beards, oh man, that custard filling was delicious, except when you take a bite the custard might shoot out the back and splatter all over the floor...

Sunday we made cookies and brought them to a girl who just had her 4th baby, they are also dental students, and she is very brave, I thought 2 was a handful to have while in school.

This morning is extremely foggy, today I want to relax and play with the kids, maybe visit Christian for lunch...and bake sweets.

I love this time of year, I always want to bake pumpkin bread and all sorts of treats and make yummy soups. I also reflect alot on how much our family is blessed, even though we are poor students, we have everything and I feel I want for nothing. I read Grace the book A Christmas Dress for Ellen and I can't believe how much it made me cry while I was reading it to Grace, either i've become a huge sap or it's all the extra oxytocin in my body from breastfeeding (you know that feeling you get before your milk comes in, your either going to bawl or get so happy)

this year I'd love to donate to the giving tree, we do something every year for another family or child, lst year we brought present to Primary Childrens Hospital, this year it might be to the Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Unit in San Francisco. My kids are healthy, and from the little experience I have I know how heart breaking it is to have a sick child, but I don't know what it is like to have my own child sick, in and out of hospitals, and the grief, strees, and helplessness the parents feel. I'm still debating on what type of nurse I want to be when Chrsitan is done with school and I can actually start working, but I still want to work in pediatric oncology. I am so grateful for all we have been given, and I do not know why my children are healthy and others are not, but I am so grateful and pray to God every day and thank him for this. I hope this season we can all reflect on how much we have, even if all we have to live on is student loans and food stamp, because there are millions out there who are struggling to get even fresh water, or food, or a rag o cover their body.

The Sixth

The Fifth and Oh my gosh, cuteness!

Love, love, love this little boy. What do I love about him? besides the fact that he has my DNA and I grew him inside my tummy for nine months and got so big people thought I was having twins? HMMMMMMMMMMM, I think the combination of a good looking baby and a baby who sleeps all night long is the real reason mothers fall in love with their kids right? Egh! Wrong (Although it helps, alot). I think it's like any other relationship, you've gone through the tough stuff together, we made it through the first 6 weeks of what felt like hell, I mean, aka learning to breastfeed, and we really got to know each other well at 12am, 2-4am, and 6am when he decided not to sleep, there I was, sitting on the edge of the bed rocking this little baby to sleep and just wanting to go back to sleep so I could get a few hours of sleep in, when he would open his eyes and start cooing, for what felt like forever.......after an hour or two so I'd have to call in back-up (Christian) to come relieve me before I lost all sanity...night after night this little tiny little boy would cry for me, and time after time, I would get up, feed, change him, cuddle him back to sleep. You would think that this wears a person out (it does) but for some reason it made me love him more and more, maybe it's all the time and energy you invest into your baby that helps grow the bonds of love, maybe it's all the oxytocin rushing through my body that tells me holding my baby and nursing him is pure bliss, or maybe it's just being human, we all need love, we all learn to love. All I know, is I love Leif and am grateful for such a sweet, tender, little boy. I am excited to watch him grow and experience life, and I am glad I get to be the one who guides him. (Dear God, please help me........).

The Fourth and Morning Time

Morning in our house currently, is very fun. I start the day super early, 5:30am, and go to the YMCA where I work my butt off doing Spin class and weights. I rush home by 7:20 and shower and get dressed just in time to get the kids up. Leif starts the day off with a nursing session, and grace sits at the table for a good half hour at least eating her cereal. Leif then rolls around all over the floor, he is trying to crawl on hands and knees but for now just scoots along. He loves anything that rustles....he is such a smiley, cuddly baby, I love it! He loves to pick things up and examine them before sticking them in his mouth. This morning I fed him mashed bananas and set the bowl down next to me, what does Leif do? He crawls over and grabs the spoon out of the bowl and licks it! Around 9am, I then nurse him again and get him ready for his nap. after he falls, asleep, Grace and I work on preschool lessons until eLif wakes up again then we head out of the door for an adventure!(Usually a park). Today is library day.....why do I get up so early? Isn't it a little crazy? Well, I decided I prefer having my workout out of the way, it's so much easier to enjoy the whole day with my children that way. so for now, 10pm bedtime, sometimes 9:30pm, is a welcome guest in my home.( but I think it always has been that way for me, early to bed always feel so much better).

The Third and Disneyland

It has been ten years since I have been to Disneyland, we went yesterday (Friday, October 2nd), and I am so happy to report that Grace and Leif were so wonderful we are going to try and go again in November with my parents. I felt giddy as we got closer and closer to Disneyland Dr., john was driving, and Debi, Hans, kirsten, Addy, Audrey and Isaac came along as well. Nathan met us there. We started the day off with with the Rocketships in Tomorrowland. Grace went with Dad and I took Leif, I have t say that I couldn't turn my head around to look at Grace and Christian, made me a little sick. Leif loved the ride though, and squealed with delight almsot the whole time! Just before that, there was no line for Star Tours, so I went on by myself, Nathan was not there yet to help watch the kids. I felt kinda funny going on by myself, but I have to admit that I loved going on that ride, I have memories of it as a child, and some things are so good they should never be changed. We then went on buzz Lightyear's ride, which Leif didn't love so much, i think the scary looking evil toys disturbed him and he cried a good portion of the ride, I, on the other hand, loved it and scored over 20,000 points! Nathan came and we made our way over to the Matterhorn, which Grace didn't like very much. Grace loved the hugging the chipmunks, Winnie the Pooh was her favorite ride. She even braved The Haunted Mansion, and is still talking about Jack Skelington and the ghosts. We had such a good time, we were so glad we got to hang out with Nathan, it definatley enriched our trip. We did not get to see much of the other family, they went to California Adventures for some of the day. We went on the train around Disneyland, and then ate at a fun Mexican restaurant and got an ice cream sundae to share. We left the park around 8pm, after going on space Mountain. I have to say that was such a thrilling ride, I loved it so much and was lucky enough to go on it twice. Nathan held the kids while Christian and I went, then Nathan waited at the exit for us and was allowed to go right after we got off, so I went with him! It got so crowded, it was shoulder to shoulder with the parades going on, and people kept pouring into the park even though it was after 8pm. (I guess I am not a night owl, early to bed for me please!) We went to the Disney store just outside the park gates where Grace picked out baby Ariel and Leif got a light blue baby Mickey mouse that rattles. We got home around 10:30, the drive was only 90 minutes, and the kids went straight to bed (so did I). Thank you John and Debi for driving us, we had so much and can't wait to go back!

The Second (and my dislike for Santa Ana weather)

Yesterday we went to Round Table with Ditte and Kirsten and Isaac and Wyatt, John and Debi and Jeremy. Grace had fun running around with the boys, while Leif threw his sippy cup down on the ground from is high chair over and over again. After the tenth time I stopped picking it up, but it was interesting to see complete strangers get up from their seats, walk over to us and pick up his sippy cup and hand it to Leif (I guess it really does take a village to raise a child). Afterwards, the boys came to Grandma Debi's and played with Geotrax. It's interesting to watch how intense 3 3 year olds can become over a train that goes 2 miles/hour, but they love it, it keeps them busy, it's educational, and that's all we parents care about, right?

Anyways, the Santa Ana's (and this cold) are trying to wreck my vavcation. I dreamed of lazy days on the beach, watching Leif pick up hand full's of sand and let it run through his fingers, watching Grace run around and squeal with delight as the ocean waves chase her, and taking pictures of Christian as he surfed the waves on one of his dad's longboards, but none of those has happened. Today, the warm, dry winds came, and my cold is rampant. All I want to do is go somewhere air conditioned. So I dropped Chrsitan and Grace off to see the movie "Cloudy with a Cjance of Meatballs" and headed up to the Oaks mall. Leif is a very calm baby, and I hand him starwberry wheels to keep him busy in his stroller while I walk around Nordstrom lazily and browse the selection of over priced merchandise that is more than tantalizing, it gleams and calls your name and says, "You can't live without me!" but I have learned to ignore those calls, maybe if those Coach purses were marked at 90% off, but there not, and so I won't......I feed Leif in the woman's lounge, a place created by Nordstrom so a new mom can feel as though she never has to leave the store. The lounge is dimly lit, stocked with diaper changing suppkies, leather seats, coffee tables, and cozy chairs......downstairs is the cafe where a new mom can get her caffeine fix from the long, sleepless nights, and upstairs is the elegant restaurant where the new mom can pay ten bucks or so for a salad to help her shed her baby weight and feel good about herself as she takes her Nordstroms card and feels like she is not actually spending money because it is all put on a charge card. Yes, Nordstroms is a hole, meant to suck you in and I am glad I have not become a Nordstroms girl.....

Anyways, I left my cell phone in the "lounge" and am too lazy to go get it after I get home and discover my cell phone is missing and Nordstroms customer service has it for me. My point I guess is that the Santa Ana's drove me to the mall where subsequently I lost my phone! E I remember as a teenager in junoir high really disliking the Santa Ana's! I used to wear a hooded sweatshirt and pull the hoody over my hair and tie it down so it wouldn't fly up because my hair would go craazy, whisping this way and that way...I also remember my the back of my leg getting pelted with a baby carrot and it welting up...let's see, fires break out during santa ana's, skin dries, noses go crazy, so basically the santa Ana's can just cease to exist and I don't think anybody would mind!

The First

Hmmmmmmmm....why am I blogging? Really, I don't want everyone reading all my personal thoughts. Lately, I have been trying to keep three separate journals, one for Grace, one for Leif, and one for myself. It hasn't worked out very well, so I decided since I am on the computer alot, doing who knows what and accomplishing not very much, I might as well keep a journal of sorts about our daily life, print it out, and put it in the kids journal! Halleihleuhah! No more arthritic pains at age 27 from trying to write hundreds of words onto teeny tiny journal pages with a teeny tiny pen!
Currently, we are in Camarillo...my hometown....it's funny because growing up in this town I always wanted to be somewhere else. I pictured myself traveling or living somewhere far away. Now that I do live in a place the rest of the world considers to be "desireable" (San Francisco), all I ever want is to come back to my cozy hometown, raise Grace and Leif here, and die here, and preferably be buried in Camarillo Springs, please don't bury me in the Jewish cemetary in Simi Valley next to my grandmother...it's hot there, and everyone knows I don't like the heat (or Simi Valley).
Anyways, this week we are attempting our first family trip to.....drumroll....Disneyland! Yes, I am as excited as Grace is, hoping to re- experience the wonderland of my childhood, the place where all your dreams come true, so please Disneyland, my only wish this week is to have a taantrum free day (or maybe I can throw in pay off our dental school loans). The last time I went was in May of 1999, the year I graduated high school. What a miserable night that was for me. I greatly disliked the fact that we stayed all night long until the wee hours of the morning, my only real memories of the experience go like this, running into some old friends that were on drugs (they took the drugs to help keep them awake all night), seeing some cheesy band play next to the burger stand in tomorrowland, and then passing out leaning against the school bus tire...soemtime that night I managed to take a picture with Winnie the Pooh, the only reason I know this is because there is a picture of with his arm around me and I am smiling. I have no recollection of taking that picture. Point: Pulling an all nighter with a group of teenage kids at Disneyland is not a good idea, kids take drugs to stay awake and the ones who don't take drugs end up passing out leaning against bus tires and waking up with tire marks against the back of their shirts.